Hello August.

It's officially in the last month of summer and it definitely went by too fast :( And I still feel like I have so much shit to take care of such as FAFSA >____< 

Anyways, this past weekend, I went back to my hometown to visit the family. I know that my dad is in California visiting my recovering Aunt so my mom was left alone to do the gardening and farmer's market. So I went back to help her out in a way. I asked my mom how if she missed dad and she was like, "No. I feel so much better and so at peace." Haha, she's funny. 

I finally spent some time with my aging grandma. I felt like I've neglected her for some time. I was being too busy with life to spend time with one of the people in my life who I treasure. This is my grandma. My pog. I love her so much. She's taken care of us, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I feel a lot of me and my siblings don't take care of her enough. We just leave her all alone in her room, unable to take care of herself. I did my best this weekend to feed her, wash her and clean her. While she was eating, I turned on a Hmong movie for her to watch. Watching movies is one of the things she's been doing since she's grown older. She could watch it all day. And it's the image in my head that I can see her doing and it's a special moment for me. When she got ill, she stopped watching movies and I felt so sad because I want to see her continue watching movies so I would put it on for her every now and then. It's better than her sitting in silence. 

Anyways, in this moment, I watched her eat and watched a movie with her. At that moment, I felt so emotional. I started tearing up because I realized I haven't been a good granddaughter. I've forgotten about her even when she's still with us for now. I also realized how thin and how old she's gotten. I believe it was my 2nd year of college that she got worse and had to go to the hospital a few times. After that she got her surgery and she's been doing great ever since. I remember I was the only one willing to sleep in her room with her despite all the bed bugs. 

Kuv hlub koj heev os, kuv pog.