Thursday, December 4, 2014

What's wrong with me?

A few days ago, a Hmong guy friend complimented me. It started when I was talking about my experiences of getting hit on in Laos. It only happened once so it wasn't so bad compared to other girls on the trip. I said, "but it's okay. I'm not that pretty anyways so that way they won't hit on me." My friend responded, "don't say that. You do have some good-looking qualities." It really made me blush.  Not a lot of guys would say that to me. I was speechless and flustered. I don't care if he was just trying to be nice but it's been a while since another guy besides my boyfriend that gave me a compliment. 

Also, besides that moment, I thought about him all night. I couldn't get the thought of what he said out of my mind. Am I really that naive and easy to let a guy's compliment get to me? 

Then I knew what was missing from my relationship. You see, my boyfriend is a quiet type of guy. He doesn't express his love physically or vocally. He shows it by action and giving. I appreciate all the things he's done but sometimes I wish he would compliment me or hold me genuinely. I've told him things he could work on but it's always "yea I will try". Just words.... I may be asking for much but I wish he could tell me how cute I am once in a while. That I look good. 

I always get sad when I think about these things.... There are so many times when I tell myself, "it's okay, I accept him for who he is even with these flaws of his and things he doesn't do" but it's been so long where I think it may be affecting how I see myself... 

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